• Quality Time vs. Quantity Time

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    Parents want to have “a great time” with their kids. Realistically, however, how many “Kodak moments” are likely to occur? Wonderful moments or encounters don’t happen daily, and maybe not even weekly. More importantly, these moments can’t be scheduled. They happen when they happen. There is a simple guideline for increasing the number of wonderful moments you have with your children: Spend more time with them. Aim to have “quantity time” and the “quality time” with your kids will follow. What ways of spending time together are there? First, there are the basics. Have meals together. Engage the children in helping prepare the meal. Tuck your younger children into bed each night, preferably reading something out loud with them beforehand. In the car, turn off the radio and talk wit...
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  • Parenting 101: 28 Tips for Being a Better Parent

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    Even if you have been away from your children because of reasons related to your addiction, your kids are probably not far from your mind. In early recovery, it is important to focus on yourself long enough to build a solid foundation for change (however long that takes will vary from person to person). Once a stable foundation is established, it is time to think about your relationships, especially those with your children as well as some of our tips for being a better parent. Most parents strive to be the best parents they can be. Given the hectic nature of our lives, this is not always an easy feat to accomplish. When we are under stress, our children may also exhibit signs of stress by becoming irritable, moody, clingy, or withdrawn. They may also show changes in their eating or ...
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  • Self-Empowering Recovery Groups for Support

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    Although Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-step groups are far more widely known, there are other addiction support groups worth knowing about.  They are listed here in approximate order of size and influence.  All of the self-empowering recovery groups support abstinence, with Moderation Management supporting both abstinence and moderation with alcohol. SMART Recovery:  Self-Management And Recovery Training (SMART) is a global community of mutual-support groups. At meetings, participants help one another resolve problems with any addiction (to drugs or alcohol or to activities such as gambling or over-eating). Participants find and develop the power within themselves to change and lead fulfilling and balanced lives guided by our science-based and sensible 4-Point Program®. http...
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  • Biopsychosocial Model of Recovery Groups

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    Science has revealed that addiction is far more complex than we formerly thought. As a result, professionals and individuals in recovery have changed their language about addiction and recovery. Addiction is now described as a complex problem, and recovery is described as having biological, psychological, social, and spiritual aspects.  This "biopsychosocial" model of recovery groups model includes physiology and genetics; behavior, beliefs and emotions; family, community and culture; and values, morality, and ultimate beliefs. If we accept that addiction and recovery are bio-psycho-social-spiritual, which addiction support groups support this broad and complex approach? Which groups include all four aspects in their program (based on a review of the primary publications)? Fortunately,...
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  • Balancing Individual and Community Needs in Addiction

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    A well-functioning family, community or society needs to have a balance between self-interested behavior, and altruistic or service behavior. If every member of a group pays attention only to his or her own immediate needs, life becomes very difficult quickly. For instance, a hunter-gatherer group that could effectively cooperate to hunt large animals would have more food, and be safer, than a group that had each member attempting to hunt alone. Solitary hunters are simply not as effective as a well-coordinated team of hunters. You might also be interested in: When Substance Use Affects the Family It is assumed in most Western societies that individuals will naturally “look out for number one.” In some non-Western societies there may be more emphasis on helping others over taking care...
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  • Do-It-Yourself (DIY) Moderate Drinking

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    DIY Moderate Drinking Are you interested in moderating your drinking? Many individuals are! Here are two books which provide everything you need to know about DIY moderate drinking. Responsible Drinking: A Moderation Management Approach for Problem Drinkers This book, by Rotgers, F., Kern, M. & Hoeltzel, R. (CA: New Harbinger Publications, 2002) is the basic text of Moderation Management (MM), a support group which helps individuals moderate drinking, or abstain. The first two authors are addiction experts who also volunteer on MM’s Board of Directors. The final author was successful in the MM program. MM offers a summary of its program on its website, and you might wish to start there: www.moderation.org. This book, which provides in-depth coverage of MM’s rationale, the sci...
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  • Family and Addiction: Two Attitudes That Promote Recovery

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    A. Tom Horvath, Ph.D., ABPP 1)  Stay focused on the desired outcome, not the process.  You may be hoping to find the “right” treatment for a loved one.  Rather than insisting that your loved one do this or that (some treatment program you think will be helpful), focus on what you want: no more (or at least fewer) addiction problems.  Don’t get so caught up in the process of treatment that you lose sight of the goal.  Let your loved one determine what might be helpful.  Any program the user chooses is better than one forced on him or her. Starting with local outpatient treatment often makes more sense than going off for 28 days to residential treatment.  In many cases simply entering individual psychotherapy will be sufficient.  Don’t hold your loved one accountable for going throu...
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  • Addiction as a Disease: Understanding the Disadvantages

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    In the news media, the typical expert describes addiction as a disease. Often these experts work at addiction treatment facilities. It would be easy to conclude that experts agree that addiction is hereditary, incurable, and lifelong. In the addiction field, this view is referred to as the “disease model.” There is significant disagreement about the disease model, but the scientists and professionals who view addiction in other ways do not receive the same media coverage. Why alternatives to the disease model (there are several) do not get more publicity is a story in itself. However, this article will focus on two reasons not to understand addiction as a disease. The first disadvantage of the disease model is that, for individuals with addiction problems, it is distracting. If I dri...
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  • Preventing Relapse to Addictive Behavior: The Role of Lifestyle Balance

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    In addiction recovery, if your life is filled with non-pleasurable activities, you are more likely to relapse. The relapse will provide an intense, but only temporary, satisfaction. Let's explore what preventing relapse and the role that lifestyle balance plays in everyday life. Perhaps the greatest risk for imbalance comes when we are too focused on what we “should” do and not enough on what we want to do. Of course, we need to do what we should do. But in balance! One comparison for this is someone who places too large a portion of income into retirement funds. Daily life becomes constrained. There is also the risk that a “binge” of spending may undo the savings, to experience some more immediate well being. More balanced money management could prevent the desire for a binge. Li...
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  • Coping with Craving

    Posted on July 24, 2013
    If you have had strong cravings, you may not need a description of one!  Like hunger (which is what we call craving for food), craving is a complete (cognitive, emotional, and physical) experience.  Your mind is distracted.  You feel tense and/or frustrated.  You get physically uncomfortable.  Craving motivates us to engage with whatever we are craving.  Craving is specific, although we may gain some relief by using a substitute.  If you are craving red wine, beer would be a (poor) substitute!  If you are just craving alcohol, beer or wine will do. You might also be interested in: Drug & Alcohol Cravings - 10 Useful Methods to Cope We only crave what we have had experience with.  If you have never used heroin, you can’t crave it.  You might have a “craving” to try it, but that is ...
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