By Tom Horvath, PhD
For many of us a good life is a happy or a meaningful one (or some combination). However, in recent years a group of psychologists has proposed a third guideline: “psychological richness.” On their deathbeds the happy might say “I had fun.” Those with meaningful lives might say “I made a difference in the world.” Those pursuing psychological richness might say, ”what a journey I had” or “that was an adventure!”
These three approaches can be and probably often are combined. You can pursue happiness by creating or finding satisfaction, well-being, and even joy. You can pursue meaning by looking for connection with others, purpose, and making the world a better place. If you add the dimension of pursuing personal growth, you can keep working to expand your perspective (even changing your mind), keep trying out new experiences, and keep “stretching” yourself psychologically. In this third dimension, you would likely be faced with more discomfort (some of those new experiences might be “more” than you expected), but you would also experience more psychological growth.
Another perspective on these three approaches is to consider three basic questions: Is my life happy? Is it meaningful? Is it complete? You might be happy enough and living meaningfully enough. Perhaps, however, you are missing out on adventures you could have.
If you are reluctant to disrupt the stability and routine of your happy or meaningful life, adding “adventure” may not be appealing. To use a baseball analogy, you can’t steal second while keeping your foot on first. If you are comfortable on first, maybe you should stay there! The available evidence suggests that, in very round numbers, perhaps one person in ten would rather lose some happiness or meaning to act on their curiosity about other ways to live and experience the world.
What would a psychologically-rich life look like? You would think as well as you could about “the big picture,” trying to make sense not only of your own world, but of how it fits with the worlds around you. That big picture might include larger time frames (not just this year but this century or millennium), larger spaces (not just your neighborhood or country but the world, the solar system, the galaxy), other perspectives (even those of people you deeply disagree with), and your “cooler” thoughts, not just your immediate emotional reactions. You would regularly indulge your curiosity. You might have artistic and creative interests. You would be willing to be a beginner again, accepting that no one looks “sophisticated” when they are a beginner at something (think skiing, playing piano, learning a new language). You might be more spontaneous and more risk-taking. You would accept discomfort as a sign you are learning, rather than considering it “wrong.”
Probably all of us on our deathbeds will be thinking that, to a degree, “my life was an adventure.” Perhaps you want that perspective to be even stronger when you get there!
For further exploration: Life in Three Dimensions: How Curiosity, Exploration, and Experience Make a Fuller, Better Life, by Shigehiro Oishi
