Forgiving yourself in recovery is essential. Learning to forgive yourself is essential as you begin to do more self-healing in your recovery.  We often have a tendency to hold ourselves to such strict standards that we find no reason or justification to forgive ourselves.  Maybe you’ve found yourself in a certain situation, able to forgive someone else for even the harshest of pains yet you may be torturing yourself over a lesser offense. It is common to hold on to past mistakes that we feel are not forgivable out of fear of forgetting the hurt and repeating the behavior. So, we torture ourselves by replaying the feelings, punishment or guilt over and over again.  Staying in this cycle keeps us stuck. It is nearly impossible to truly move through the stages of healing while holding ont...

Irrational beliefs are those that are untrue, don’t make sense, or are harmful to us. While we all have some irrational beliefs, we can learn to recognize them and challenge them. Here are some common types of irrational beliefs that can cause negative feelings and fuel addictive behaviors. 1. Demands—Telling yourself that you “must” or “should” do something often leads to frustration and emotional distress. Having overly rigid demands on yourself or others can lead to disappointment when those demands are not met. Instead, try telling yourself that you “want” or “would like” to do something. 2. Over-generalizations—This is also known as “all or nothing” thinking. Believing that you “always” or “never” do something may lead to feelings of frustration and helplessness. Instead, rec...

Addictions typically develop to substances or activities that make us feel good. For instance, alcohol can relax us and cocaine can make us feel energized and happy. Substances that influence emotion because of their biochemical effects are called psychoactive. Even substances which are not “biochemically psychoactive” can become “psychologically psychoactive” because of learned associations to them. For instance, someone who drinks water after every workout might associate water and relaxation. Or an herbal tea (which has no caffeine) might be associated with peacefulness or relaxation. To help clarify the significance of substances or activities making us feel good, let’s make a comparison to something that makes us feel bad: phobias. Most of us are exposed to elevators, freeway dr...

For some of us, there comes a time when we wonder if we are drinking too much, or using drugs too much. In our society, the next thought typically is, “Am I an alcoholic or an addict?”  This question naturally arises because almost everyone has heard, “You have to admit that you are an alcoholic or addict before you can be helped.” Because there is such widespread insistence that people label themselves with these terms, let us examine what these terms mean. Addicts and Alcoholics: Labels in Addiction There are many individuals in the 12-step community (members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, etc.) who call themselves alcoholics or addicts. These labels are considered important because they help members of the community (or fellowship, as it is often c...

Expanded from original article published Jan. 30, 2015 Problem Gambling With the recent PowerBall win and the upcoming Super Bowl, we thought it was a good time to take a closer look at problem gambling. It doesn't matter if it's sports betting, casino gambling, lotteries, friendly wagers or even illegal street bets, all forms of gambling have the potential to become problematic and addictive in nature. Let’s be honest – the thrill of gambling (and winning) gets us pumped. For most people, gambling on the Super Bowl or participating in the office sports pool is just a source of entertainment and fun. But for some, gambling can become problematic and can even turn into a full-blown addiction. In fact, some estimates suggest that about 2 million Americans meet the criteria for gambli...

Does it seem like you drink more during the fall and winter months? If it seems like you’re drinking more now that summer is over, you might be onto something. With shorter days, bad weather, stressful holidays and alcohol-laden parties, it makes sense that alcohol is looking more attractive these days. While it’s important to notice whether alcohol is becoming more of a problem for you, it’s even more important to know what you can do if you think you have a problem. Defining Problematic Drinking First things first, however. Let’s look at what defines moderate, heavy and binge drinking, so you can better determine whether you might have a problem with drinking. The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) defines drinking as follows: Moderate drinking is 1 dr...

With the end of summer comes shorter days, less sunlight, less time spent outdoors and, for some of us, a bit of a negative shift in our mood. Known as the winter blues or even Seasonal Affective Disorder (in more severe cases), this shift ranges from feeling a little down, sluggish, withdrawn, or even depressed, as the colder, darker days begin to replace the rejuvenating days of spring and summer. We all know that taking care of our mental health is a key component of our recovery, that’s why it’s critical we address any negative feelings which start to creep in – including those brought on by a change in the weather. While you can’t control the seasons, you can stave off some of those ill feelings. If your mood is beginning to fall with the leaves outside, try these tips for a ...

One recovery group states, “We know that when your addiction is over, your other problems will probably fade or disappear, and that in a consistently abstinent state, you will find solutions to the problems you face.” Indeed, life tends to get better as you remove a major source of your problems. But some people are really bummed to find out that once they stop using drugs and alcohol, their problems don’t just disappear and they really have to do the hard work of separating using from the stuff of life. In other words, long-term recovery can involve much more than just giving up your drug(s) of choice. It also includes learning how to cope with life’s ups and downs without a glass or bottle in your hand or without turning to drugs. So many of those past associations are strong – for...

Are you wondering how much it costs to go to drug and alcohol rehab? The fees for residential rehab range widely, from under $5,000 per month to well over 10 times that amount. What is an appropriate cost of rehab, and what should it include? There are some obvious costs (as well as some hidden expenses) that affect the quality of your experience and possibly your outcomes. There are many things to consider when looking for the right treatment setting for your client, yourself or a loved one. Factors that Determine the Cost of Rehab The House In California any single family home can be licensed for up to six beds, without requiring special zoning approval. These houses-turned-rehabs vary widely in terms of size, location, and amenities. Some rehabs offer private bedrooms for all, ot...

By Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. Just as there are many different ways to recover, there are many different resources available to help in recovery. One great resource is books, and there are practically an unlimited number of options! From self-help books to autobiographical accounts, here are our picks for interesting and inspiring recovery-oriented books: 1. "Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom," by Rick Hanson This book focuses on more than just addiction, exploring how readers can work toward greater overall well-being. It provides information about the core functions of the brain (regulating, learning, valuing), along with practical applications of neuroscience to everyday life. 2. "Her Best Kept Secret," by Gabrielle Glaser In this info...