Sometimes as we get further away from our addiction, we begin to notice a disconnect between who we were and who we are. Recovery can bring with it an entire lifestyle change including new friends, new associations, new values and new ways of interacting with our environment. It’s not uncommon to feel as though there is a dichotomy between two versions of our self; a division between who we were in the past and who we are in the present. And, naturally, we might feel as though our past self is out of place in the way we live our life now. It can be tempting to tuck that part of us away; to erase that part of our history and pretend it didn’t happen. And that makes sense – we aren’t that person now and don’t want to be judged based on something some people don’t understand. Maybe we h...

So you’ve begun to get the cravings under control and are starting to rebuild your life. You’re changing habits, changing your thinking and feeling hopeful about the future. As you begin to find more enjoyment throughout your days, you might also be thinking it would be nice to have someone to share all these beautiful things with. But before you jump head first into dating, or a relationship, you need to ask yourself if you’re really ready for dating in recovery. While finding that special someone to share your life with has many benefits, it’s also a big responsibility. Below are four questions to help you decide whether it’s time to write dating into this chapter of your life. 1. Have you given yourself enough time to develop your ideal version of you? Often during active addiction...

By Tom Horvath, PhD, ABPP All species aim to survive. They do so by seeking out some experiences and avoiding or escaping others. The behaviors associated with addiction and recovery can be understood in this larger context of survival, approach and avoidance. The implications of an evolutionary perspective for addiction include new definitions for commonly used addiction terms, and a revised approach to addiction treatment and recovery. Addictive Behavior: Primary addictive behavior is pleasurable survival behavior. All species engage with the environment in order to survive. Depending on the level of consciousness of the species, the repetitive involvement with these essentials is experienced as pleasurable. Survival essentials include food, sex, and in some mammals attachmen...

Deciding not to drink at the summer parties this year? We totally support you. That's why we've scoured the Internet for some of the best mocktail recipes out there. Here are our favorites: Orange Earl Grey Iced Tea Ingredients: ¼c loose tea or 12 Earl Grey teabags Peel of one orange Instructions: Steep tea and orange peel in 4 c boiling water Add sugar and stir until dissolved Add cold water and refrigerate until chilled Serve in mason jars and garnish with orange slices Blended Strawberry Basil Lemonade Ingredients: ¼ c fresh basil leaves 4 strawberries hulled 1 lemon, peeled and halved 4 strawberries, hulled 4 tbsp honey or agave 1/2c-1c ice cubes Instructions: Blend all ingredients together Serve in mason jar and garnish with a...

Originally posted 12/11/2013, revised for 2015 holidays Tips for making the holiday party season a sober success! It's no surprise - alcohol is a staple of the holiday season. This can prove to be a tough challenge for individuals in recovery but with a little planning and strategy, the holidays can be an enjoyable and successfully sober experience! Following is a list of suggestions for non-drinkers when they’re in social situations involving alcohol, as well as tips for friends and family so everyone can enjoy the party: For the Non-Drinker: BYO – bring your own nonalcoholic drinks to the function. (If it’s a big party, no one will notice.) Create your own cocktail – for instance, ask the bartender to mix cranberry juice, a splash of orange juice, club soda and add a pi...

By Linda Lewis, CADCII A year or so ago Practical Recovery began using the term recovery maintenance in place of relapse prevention. Why? Because it fits our model so much better. The idea is simple: If you focus on maintaining your recovery, you can worry less about relapse. If you build a life that supports you in not using, it becomes a lot easier to resist bad choices. Recovery maintenance is more about having a well-rounded plan, so you can focus more on living well. Rather than focusing on avoiding relapse (which, of course we hope to do), a good recovery maintenance plan has a “what if I relapse” section to prepare for it. I’ve had clients in the past who refused to face the possibility of relapse and they did not do well. I’ve found that if someone does not plan for the po...

by Devon Berkheiser Recovery: A Lifelong Process? In the traditional 12 step approach to addiction treatment, members identify themselves as “alcoholics” or “addicts.” They are commonly told that addiction is a chronic disease, one that will never fully go away regardless of how long they maintain abstinence. This approach can work for many people. Some find it useful to identify themselves with such labels as “alcoholic” because it is a way for them to stay humble and to use that label in a safe setting, minimizing feelings of shame. Also, the idea that recovery is a lifelong process can help people stay vigilant and avoid the pitfalls of complacency. However, for other people, this approach can feel hopeless and shaming. The idea of saying that one can never really be free from a...

By Devon Berkheiser You can build trust again! Often, building trust with loved ones is a significant part of the recovery process. It’s not uncommon for people in the midst of an addiction to engage in lying, sneaking, and other behaviors that create a loss of trust in relationships. While it can be daunting to think about repairing your important relationships, here are 5 ways to help you manage the process: 1. Be patient First and foremost, recognize that rebuilding trust takes time. Addictive behaviors may have occurred over a span of many years, so it’s not realistic to think that you’ll be able to regain trust immediately. Your friends and family members have their own feelings to work through, so give them time and space for that. It’s normal to want to make things better...

By Devon Berkheiser In early recovery, many people face a choice: whether to continue friendships with people who may still be using or to end those friendships in order to protect their own sobriety. This is not always an easy decision to make. Some using buddies may actually be long-term friends, and it can be hard to handle another important loss when you’re already dealing with so many changes in your life. Additionally, you may not have sober friends, which leaves you with the option of going back to old friendships or essentially starting over, which can feel overwhelming. If you do decide to maintain friendships with friends who are not sober, here are tips to help you manage the situation: 1. Evaluate the risk Some using buddies may be supportive of your new sobriety while ...

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. For members of AA/NA, making amends is part of the program. The 9th step of the 12 steps is to make direct amends to people that have been hurt. Practical Recovery and SMART Recovery don’t have a specific recommendation about making amends, but many people in recovery want to repair and rebuild their relationships. In order to do so, it’s often necessary to address hurt that has been caused by your addictive behaviors. Here are some tips for making amends… the Practical Recovery Way. 1. Acknowledge your role The first step toward repairing relationships is taking responsibility for your role in their breakdown. When feeling ashamed, it’s tempting to avoid addressing the issue altogether or try to deflect those difficult feelings by blaming the other pers...