Updated November 9, 2021 by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. Self-esteem is important. When we feel good about ourselves, it’s easier to engage in positive and healthy activities. Self-esteem also prevents us from beating ourselves up when we make mistakes, thus allowing us to get back on track quickly, rather than being overwhelmed by shame and self-hatred. Here are a few tips on how to improve your self-esteem: 1. Challenge negative self-talk We all engage in self-talk. It’s simply the running dialogue that happens in our heads. Unfortunately, not all self-talk is positive, and negative thoughts about the self can be damaging to self-esteem. So be aware of your self-talk and “catch” negative thoughts. For example, if you find yourself saying, “I’m a total failure” when you make a mist...

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. For many people, recovery can be a vulnerable time. It often involves building up a new support network while dealing with a lot of challenging issues and feelings. A recent news story highlights just how vulnerable people in early recovery can be, and the potential dangers that they face even in places that are supposed to be safe. Karla Mendez Brada was a young woman in treatment for substance abuse. As part of that treatment, she attended Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings which are meant to provide support and “fellowship.” At those meetings, she met a man who quickly became her fiancé. Although AA typically advises against getting involved in romantic relationships in early recovery, it does happen; and not all of t...

Dr. Horvath talks to San Diego's Fox 5 about kids and their overuse of video games, including predisposition to video game addiction, warning signs, impact and ways to combat overuse.

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. Boredom can be dangerous…. Having too much free time allows the mind to wander, and it can go to unhealthy places. While time for rest and relaxation is important, make sure that you have enough activity in your schedule to prevent you from feeling too bored. Here are some tips for how to do that, especially during the holidays when a lot of people have extra time off from their usual daily responsibilities. 1. Plan ahead—If you wait until the last minute to make plans, you risk other people being busy and/or unavailable. Instead, try to fill up your schedule in advance. Anticipate free time that you will have and schedule healthy activities for yourself ahead of time. Remember that too much isolation can be risky, so be sure to include some social acti...

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. While the holidays can be a joyous and festive time, they can also be difficult, and triggering, for many people. Holiday parties often include alcohol, and family gatherings can sometimes feel more stressful than fun. Additionally, many people put pressure on themselves to make this time of year almost magical, and then feel guilty or sad if reality falls short of their expectations. While we all hope that the holidays are an enjoyable time of year, it can be helpful to prepare for the possibility that they may, in fact, cause some stress and urges to use. Here are some tips for getting through the holiday season: 1. Be proactive—Don’t wait until the last minute to make plans for the holidays, as doing so could leave you bored and alone when the big da...

by Seda Gragossian, Ph.D., and Tom Horvath, Ph.D., ABPP Practical Recovery has always treated (in outpatient) teens, tweens, and families. Recently we have expanded our outreach efforts for this population. All addiction treatment is a combination of treatment and prevention. When we work with teens and families the prevention component is especially important. Because parents can be a provider’s primary partners in treatment and prevention, at Practical Recovery we often focus largely on parents during the change process. Parents are needed to create a positive environment, which leads to positive behavior change for the teen. This article outlines the overarching ideas that Practical Recovery emphasizes in our work with parents, these ideas are rather different than “tough love,...

Pro football players are not getting any smaller. When they hit each other on the field pain seems inevitable. In most cases pain motivates people to do something different in the future. The rewards of pro sports (money, fame, women) overpower even pain. Or they motivate someone to take painkillers. Owners and coaches might ignore a pain pill problem for the sake of keeping a strong player on the field. Strong players, great teams, winning seasons, getting into the playoffs, winning the Super Bowl: Coaches and owners have many potential rewards as well. It is hard to see how these problems--overuse of pain pills in the NFL, and active efforts to cover up that use--are going to be resolved. Even under less dramatic circumstances people in chronic pain easily overuse pain pills. Se...

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. We all make mistakes, and it can be easy to get discouraged when they happen. But feeling too much guilt and shame can lead to irrational thoughts and self-destructive behaviors. It’s important to keep our mistakes in perspective by spending some time remembering our successes as well. Recall a time when you made a positive change in your life. Perhaps you gave up a harmful habit or established a new, healthy routine. The positive change can be big or small; either way, remind yourself that you have been successful in the past and you can be successful again in the future. Recognize that success often takes a lot of time and effort. Usually, a positive change is comprised of many small steps along the way. Mistakes are a normal part of a change proce...

by Devon Berkheiser, Psy.D. Conflict is an inevitable part of interpersonal relationships. We are each unique individuals with our own belief system and point of view, and it’s only natural that we will at some point have disagreements with other people. While managing conflict can be scary and overwhelming, conflict resolution skills can be learned so that you feel more confident in your ability to address conflicts in relationships. Here are some basic conflict resolution skills: 1. Arrange a time and place to discuss the problem that is convenient for all parties. You may want to wait until you are able to speak about the problem in a calm and respectful manner. 2. Define the problem as specifically as possible. Try using clear-cut examples so that the other person understan...

by Seda Gragossian, Ph.D. We all know parenting comes with its own unique set of challenges. The pressure can feel immense as children look to us to help guide them through relationships, letdowns and unfamiliar emotions, just to name a few. Then there's the responsibility of keeping them safe and healthy, maintaining open communication, fostering their trust in you, and the list goes on. While parenting may not come with a manual, here are 12 awesome tips that will help set you up for success. 1. Raising healthy kids is not about removing obstacles from their path, but equipping them with the right tools to overcome obstacles on their own. 2. Failures are not all bad. In fact, learning to overcome failures can foster resilience. Teach your children how to get up after they hav...